I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
