mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
