Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize