I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
