my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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