drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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