You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
