dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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