yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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