so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
