Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
