those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
