GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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