well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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