Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
