it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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