It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
