like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
