im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
