Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
