just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
wow bdsm is so cute
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
