Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
this hospital has no fireball
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have tasted many bathrooms
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