Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
