have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Girls should come with a carfax report
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
