she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
