your room smells of hookers.
And success
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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