I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
