I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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