my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
