try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
