im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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