garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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