Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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