I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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