Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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