Are we in a gay sports bar?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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