i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
