i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
