I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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