She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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