Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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