I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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