It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
