I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito