I CAN MOONWALK!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.