Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?