Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.