That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i need to put some appletini on your dick
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.