you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
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It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
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All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You're breaking my sexual little heart