I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
