before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
