You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
