I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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