so that wasnt chicken after all
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
