Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize