I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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