Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
