i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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