I think I died a long time ago.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
