I just saw a hot homeless man
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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