i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
