upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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