Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
