someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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